Levels of Listening

Find out where your attention is while someone is talking

What it is

Listening is a question of where your attention sits while the other person is talking. At level one your attention is on yourself, on your own reaction and the reply you are composing. At level two it is fully on the other person, their words, their tone and what they seem to be working out. At level three it widens to the whole room, including who has gone quiet and what is not being said.

Most people listen at level one without noticing it. The model gives you names for the three levels so you can tell which one you are in and move your attention outward.

When to reach for it

A one-to-one where someone is struggling and you already know what you think they should do
A meeting where a decision is being argued and you are waiting for your turn to speak
A hard conversation where you notice yourself rehearsing your reply

Try it this week

Choose a conversation this week where you are likely to have a quick answer, and decide before it begins to understand the issue fully before you offer that answer.

While the person talks, check whether you are following what they are saying or rehearsing your reply.
Ask yourself what they most need you to understand, and check the meaning you have taken from their words.
Notice what you are assuming from their tone or silence.
At the end, summarize the issue and the next step, and ask what you have missed.
Follow through on what you agreed to do, then ask the person whether the conversation gave them what they needed.

Go deeper

Read the longer article on Levels of Listening

Related tools

Source: Co-Active Training Institute, How the Three Levels of Listening Make You a Better Coach

Want help putting this to work with your team? Book a free thirty minutes with Colin.